Love is something that hits when it wants, never when you really think it should come but more when it needs to. When you feel like nothing good can ever come from anything ever again, you could be most surprised by something that sweeps you off your feet and makes your whole world spin and when you land, you hope it is a long, perfect love.
Everyone thinks of love only ending with marriage and kids, and yes that is the way most love should end, but what if the person you are in love with never wants marriage and kids? Than your love can go in a different direction. Common law, and travels, adventures, all sorts of things.
Love for me was never really my strong game. I have fallen in love, I have had my heart shattered, I have moved on and fallen for the wrong guy multiple times. I have picked myself up and moved forward.
My last relationship was a complete flop, well minus bringing two amazing kids into the world. I have dealt with those demons and I have moved on, found a new love. And this love has been a new experience, eye opening. Has rocked my world to its core.
It has shown me what happiness can be, and that there is a true love out there. Now, will this love last? Its hard to say. No one knows the future and what it holds, but I figure if I can over come mental and physical abuse and still rise strong and love this new man with my whole heart, maybe the future wont be so bad.
My new guy is the complete opposite of the asshole I thought I loved. But at one point, every one of my ex's was what I needed at the time.
But I don't live in the past. I cant. If you keep looking behind you, either you will crash or you will miss something amazing and only see it in hindsight.
It has almost been a full year since this new love entered my life and showed me that not all guys are the same and gentlemen still are out there, but I dare not count my chicks before they hatch. I learned the lesson of not rushing into things. I learned the lesson of not wishing for everything, cause reality is, there are a lot of bumps in the road.
Now am I saying that this guy is going to shatter my heart or me shatter his? Hell no.
What I am saying is I am going to live and love every moment I possibly can. And who knows, maybe in another year, Ill still be blissfully in love and still with him.
Like I said, the future is uncertain but I can have hope. Hell, that is all I have left.
Hope is the one thing that keeps that sparkle and glimmer of that fairy tale that girls want.
Ugh, now I feel like I am rambling, but than again, I never said my posts made sense. They are more an outlet for me and myself.
I guess this has just been one of those moments where reflection has set in.
It has been a hell of a week. Some ups, a lot of downs. Little sleep and some nightmares on top of it.
How do you tell someone you are in love with them and worry almost everyday that it will be the last day? I have learned that death and life both have a way of ruining things. How I have a way of ruining things.
Nothing is guaranteed. Hell, my mom lost the love of her life.
Im a 26 year old single mother.
My grandmother divorced her husband.
My family really doesn't have a good track record. Which begs the question, am I cursed?
Will my boys be cursed?
Ugh. Now Im just getting carried away.
All Im saying is it is hard not worry when relationships can go 1 of 2 ways.
Either you break up, cry, only have memories and eventually move on to possibly suffer the same thing...
Or, you could stay with this person and have the best love you have ever known in your life.
Well, there is your daily dose of my ramblings.
